Thursday, October 11, 2018

Misconceptions About Long Distance Relationships (Debunked)

Long distance relationships have always carried a stigma. Often times these preconceived notions are completely false.

Here are some misconceptions people have about long distance relationships:


1. Long distance relationships are easy
Long distance relationships are anything but easy. Many believe that just because you are not together there will be less conflicts and it would be much easier to maintain a relationship. Truth is, the lack time spent face-to-face can result in serious miscommunications which can then lead to even more arguments than an average couple has. Often, it is believed that you do not need to change your lifestyle for a long distance relationship, but every relationship requires compromise, just in different areas. These compromises may not be about who does the chores on what day, but they have to be made about who has to leave their family behind in order to spend a holiday together. They eventually have to be made about who is moving where in order to break the distance. The compromises made can be considered even more difficult to make than those of short distance relationships.

2. They are not a big financial commitment
Just because you do not have the ability to go out to dinner or to the movies together, does not mean that long distance relationships are less costly than average relationships. Between sending packages, booking flights, and other expenses, long distance relationships can be serious financial commitments. There are, of course, ways to ensure you get lower prices, however, it is still a big financial commitment. Not to mention phone bills and the fact that international couples have to deal with the costs of the visa process.

3. They do not work out long-term
There are few things more frustrating than being told that your relationship, that you pour so much effort into, will not work out no matter how hard you try. "Why do they assume this?" you may ask. Just because you live far apart, people will assume that your relationship is destined to end and will never make it very far. Many long distance couples have gone on to live together, get married, and even have kids! It is not impossible, it just takes a lot of work.

4. There is minimal communication needed/involved
Luckily in the 21st century, it is easier than ever to communicate with people from all over the world. We have texting, instant messaging, phone calls, Facetime, Skype, good old fashion snail mail, and plenty more ways to communicate through long distances. These methods are used often by and are vital for long distance relationships. It is unbelievably easy to encounter miscommunications when you're not talking to someone face-to-face so individuals in long distance relationships must be willing to put effort forth to communicate as effectively as possible, especially if there is a language barrier.

5. All long distance relationships are international
Many long distance relationships that are shown in the media, often through shows such as 90 Day Fiance, are international. However, they are not the only kind of long distance relationships. The words "long distance" mean different distances to different people. In my opinion, a distance that inhibits your ability to see each other relatively often, can be considered long. The distance between California and Massachusetts is obviously a long distance, despite being in the same country. It can also be argued that New Jersey to Massachusetts is a long distance too (that's still a 5 hour drive!). Even though non-international couples do not have to jump over the hurdles of the visa process, they still qualify as being long distance.

6. Cheating is common and acceptable
I would not recommend saying this to anyone in a long distance relationship unless you want them to go on a lengthy rant and make you feel like a jerk. This is an extremely common misconception that can get anyone in a long distance relationship really fired up. Although there is the exception of open relationships (short distance relationships can also fall under this category) the vast majority of long distance relationships are monogamous and extremely dedicated. People may argue "oh but it's so much easier to cheat from a distance without the other person knowing" but when you work so hard to stay together and invest so much time and money into one person, you're not likely to give all of that up in the name of lust. It is probably easier to get away with it, but who wants to destroy a relationship that took so much work to develop in the first place? When you put so much into a relationship, you're more likely to avoid temptations and fight to stay together, not less likely.

7. Long distance relationships are a scam
Yes, there are awful people on the internet who catfish or pretend to love someone to get their money or a visa, but this should not lead to the generalization and stigmatization that "all long distance relationships are a scam." These kinds of "long distance relationships" may seem to be more common than legitimate relationships due to the dramatization and increased amount of attention these horror stories attract in the media (especially through the TV shows 90 Day Fiance and Catfished). Most long distance relationships develop from genuine love and should receive the respect that any other couple would get, regardless of what is shown in the media.

8. Long distance relationships are formed out of desperation
This is yet another, super annoying one to hear. Just because you fell in love with someone who you can't physically be with, doesn't mean you are desperate. Often long distance relationships start when you are least expecting to get into a relationship. Maybe you met someone abroad, your significant other moved away for work, or you fell in love with your pen-pal, like I did. Regardless, it doesn't make you desperate to date someone despite the distance. It makes you stronger and more emotionally mature to be able to look past all the things you may miss out on (dates, holidays together, etc.) and still decide that they are worth the commitment.

In conclusion:
Long distance relationships face tons of stigma, often perpetuated by the negative ways in which they are portrayed in the media. It's important for people in long distance relationships to stay strong and not ignore the incorrect assumptions people make. Instead, correct them and help them better understand what long distance relationships are really like. If you are not in a long distance relationship, don't stigmatize those who are. Instead, ask questions and do not assume what you see in the media is true.

Tuesday, August 28, 2018

The Disadvantages of Being in a Long Distance Relationship (And How to Deal With Them)

Long distance relationships can be some of the strongest relationships, but they do not come without their fair share of struggles...


1. You may often feel lonely
When you spend so much time apart, it's natural to develop feelings of loneliness, even when you're not alone. Your partner is your other half and no amount or quality of friends can fill the hole you feel in your heart when they're not with you. These feelings of loneliness can creep up on you at any time and they can be quite overwhelming and hard to suppress. Don't be ashamed of how you feel, even if you feel lonely in the presence of other people. Opening up to those people about how you feel can be freeing and they may even have advice that can help you feel better.

2. You are bound to miss out on each other's important events
The unfortunate reality of living separate lives is that, whether you like it or not, your schedules may not align in a way that will allow you to attend each other's important events. I remember being really upset when I couldn't attend my boyfriend's gradation because my school had scheduled finals on the same day. Do not sacrifice going to something mandatory like finals or something you care really deeply about, to go attend your significant other's event unless you have fully analyzed the pros and cons first. There will be pros and cons for every decision you have to make in regards to scheduling. Recognize that despite being in a relationship, you don't have to sacrifice everything you care about in your own life. There will always be other important events that they will be able to attend so don't get too hung up on any one event. Also, do not get angry at your partner for choosing to attend their important event over yours. It was probably a really hard choice for them to make and they may even feel guilty enough on their own. They don't need to feel even worse than they already do. You are a team after all and need to work together, especially during hard times.

3. You won't always have their shoulder to cry on when you need it
Whether it was a long hard day at school or work, or you had an argument with someone, your significant other may not always be physically present or even able to be reached when you need them. To prepare for this inevitable scenario, do not treat them as your sole support system and rely on them for everything. Your family and friends can be just as good when it comes to listening to your issues and giving you advice on them. Confide in other people that you feel comfortable sharing your struggles with and they can help get you through your initial issues and stress, even if you don't think they're as good at giving advice. Later on, when your partner is available, you will be able to share your issues with them. However, you may even feel better by then and not feel the need to tell them, which can be even better! Instead of having to wait for help or address the stressful topic multiple times, you can move on to more lighthearted topics, diminishing some of your stress as a couple. Of course, don't avoid asking your partner for advice, but definitely have a plan in place if they're not available.

4. There may be days where you are unable to talk at all
Especially with couples in different time zones, this can be really hard to cope with. You may end up falling asleep when your partner is waking up, working when your partner is returning home, or going out when your partner is staying in. There is bound to be a day where you and your partner are unable to talk for a full day. Although it can be really difficult to accept this as a reality, especially during a hard day, it is likely to happen at some point. Be sure to stay calm and remind yourself that just because they're not talking, doesn't necessarily mean that something bad happened, they're mad at you, they had some sort or emergency, or they're cheating on you. Take it for what it is: they are too busy at the moment to talk. Absolutely do not make assumptions about something being wrong or them being hurt. Those thoughts can cloud your judgement and fill you with lots of anxiety.

5. You may feel resentful towards other couples
When someone has something that you wish you had (their partner by their side) sometimes you can't help but feel jealous and even resentful. This is normal and you shouldn't be mad at yourself for how you feel, however, it's not healthy to outwardly take out your resentment towards other couples. Remember that they are not causing you to be apart from your significant other and they can't control the fact that they're together anymore than you can control being apart; distance just happens or it doesn't. Redirect your emotions towards something more positive, whether that be working out or trying really hard in a hobby. Pride is a far more satisfying feeling than jealousy.

6. Technology is important, but may not always work in your favor
I know that I personally struggle with having a horrible WiFi connection. Often, my boyfriend is just a lagging fuzzy blob on my screen which can be really hard when I need to talk to him face to face or he's trying to show me something. Cell service can also be pretty spotty in certain areas. As frustrating as it is, sometimes you don't have a choice but to settle for a phone call or even just a text. Once again, avoid feelings of resentment and recognize that it isn't their fault and that they probably want to see you face to face just as badly. Stay calm and just go with the flow.

7. Traveling can be annoying and costly
Even when you live in the same country, flights can come with a large price tag. If you can drive there, gas is still expensive. Not to mention the inconvenience of being on the road for hours of waiting for a delayed flight. The best way to combat this is to hope for the best but plan for the worst. If you're driving: have extra money on you just in case, make sure you have plenty of music ready to play, program your GPS early, and leave before or after rush hour. If you're flying/taking a train/bus: also have extra money on you, pack a pillow to be extra comfortable, be sure you have your phone charger in an easy to access part of your bag, bring a portable battery in case a port isn't accessible, pack headphones, download some Netflix shows/movies, set up a playlist. There are so many things you can do to ensure that you're prepared. In terms of the price: explore all the different discount flight services (Expedia, Travelocity, @JetBlueCheeps on twitter, etc). Check out websites that can predict whether flight costs will go up or down and snag your flights at the lowest price.

8. Misunderstandings are far more likely
When your main form of communication is text, misunderstandings can be quite common. It can be hard to extract tone of voice, sarcasm, humor, intention, facial expressions, and more, from a simple text message. Even phone calls can lead to misunderstandings. Only your partner truly knows how they intended their words to be read so give them the benefit of the doubt and don't make accusations that they meant something that they truly hadn't. Ask for clarification and give them the chance to better explain what they meant.

9. Arguments may last longer
Due to more frequent misunderstandings, arguments are more likely to be drawn out and unresolved, instead, just dying out because you get sick of arguing. For long distance couples, it's not like you can show up at their door with their favorite movies and snacks to ask for forgiveness. "I'm sorry" gifts aren't likely to make it to their door until long after the argument has ended. Flower delivery services are expensive. You can't just give your partner a meaningful hug and a kiss or an "I'm sorry" with eye contact. Sadly you often have to settle for a text or phone call apology, which can be hard to draw meaning from. Words are just not as powerful as actions, but they couldn't take those actions, even if they wanted to. Try to avoid phrases like "that's not good enough." They would likely do better than just a sorry if they were physically and financially able to. You just have to work with what you can get. If you don't feel like their apology is good enough, ask them to clarify what they are sorry for, so that you know the apology is genuine and heartfelt.

In conclusion:
Long distance relationships can come with a long list of cons which may or may not be deal-breakers to you. Assess each con carefully and decide whether or not the person you are interested in is worth that potential sacrifice. It's also important to remember that each couple has a unique situation and different struggles. You may have more or less issues than another long distance couple. Do not anticipate that you will face every single issue that another couple dealt with, but be prepared to address issues that other couples have faced. There are ways to make every con seem less damaging/deal-breaking, but regardless of that, everyone is different and can/can't handle certain things. Do not get into/stay in a relationship that you can not handle the cons of. It will only be more damaging in the long run. If you do get into/stay in a long distance relationship, be ready to combat these issues together as a team. Do not let the disadvantages discourage you from pursuing a relationship you think is worthwhile.

Monday, August 20, 2018

10 Ways To Stay Strong When You're Apart

It's tough to spend long spans of time apart, but there are ways to make it less difficult...

1. Share your feelings with your partner
It's important to remember that nobody understands your situation quite like your partner does. You are going through it together after all. You should never be afraid to be open and honest about your emotions with them. It is likely that they can relate to how you feel and even provide support. Being able to relate to how someone else feels will make you feel validated and less lonely.

2. Spend time with your friends and family
It may be hard to even drag yourself out of bed when you know that you can't spend the day with the one person you really wish was there. However, it is healthier to push through the struggles and not deny yourself the ability to have fun and enjoy time without your significant other by your side. You're not obligated to be on the phone/texting them all day just because you miss each other. You're allowed to have fun without them and it can distract you from being sad as well as improve your overall mental health. When you're happier, your relationship is bound to be happier.

3. Make a gift for your partner
I've found that something as simple as working on a handmade gift for your partner can get your mind off of your sadness and lift your spirits. This can even be as simple as writing them a long, well thought out letter. Putting time and effort into a gift will allow you to focus and clear your head while also building up excitement for when you get to see them open the gift you made. It can help improve your mood and your partner is sure to love it. It's a win-win!

4. Look at pictures you took/make a scrapbook
A good idea for cheering yourself up when you're feeling lonely after a visit is to look back on all the great memories you made and remind yourself that you will make even more great memories next time too. It's important to drill into your brain that there will be a next time. Much like making a gift for your partner, making a scrapbook allows you to clear your head. It also leads you to focus on the great memories you made, instead of the loneliness of being apart. Physically putting pictures together into a book as opposed to just having them in an album on your phone makes you spend more time looking at each picture, and thinking about all the fun you had together. The more you are reminded of and focus on a happier time, the less you will think about the pain that you're going through from being apart.

5. Start planning your next visit
One of the most difficult parts of visits coming to an end is not knowing the next time you will be together. Trying to book your next visit shortly after your last one can help provide motivation. Knowing that there is a light at the end of the tunnel can keep you pushing forward with increasing excitement as the day you're together again gets closer and closer. It also gives you a longer span of time to book the flights, to ensure you get the best deal possible.

6. Have a Skype/Facetime date
When you are too far apart to have a "real" date in person, dates over a video chat can help cheer you up. Of course, video chatting may not be as much fun to you as a normal date would be, but it can help to ease the pain, even if only by a little bit. Try watching movies or shows on Netflix together by hitting play at the same time. Maybe even grab a bowl of popcorn while you watch. You can also try just eating at the same time to get the basic idea of a dinner date (this may be more difficult if you're in different time zones). If you both like video games and own the same console, buy the same online game and play together. Regardless of your situation, there are endless amounts of ways to have a "video chat date," sometimes it just takes a bit of creativity.

7. Put extra effort into your hobbies
This is kind of cliche but it is true that when you're feeling down, putting more effort into something you enjoy doing can help you cheer up. By spending more time and effort on your hobbies, you're bound think less about your situation and make improvements that you can feel proud of. The pride from your accomplishments can help lessen the pain of missing your significant other.

8. Try not to talk too often
Communication in a long distance relationship is super important, but talking too often can sometimes be detrimental. If you talk too often, you may run out of things to talk about and then suddenly your conversations are no longer as meaningful. It can make your time apart harder as you may start to view your relationship as boring when you're apart. Also, often you'll end up exchanging lots of "I miss you" texts. This can keep your mind focused too much on all the negatives. It's better to limit your conversations so that they're always meaningful and keep you thinking positively.

9. Don't assume anything about what your partner is up to
Misunderstandings are not uncommon in relationships, especially when you're long distance. Situations and conversations can easily be misinterpreted. Be careful not to read too much into these kinds of things and instead, take everything at face value. Never blindly assume or accuse your partner of cheating in any form. Have mature conversations and talk things out. Chances are, you're just misunderstanding. However, if you come in with an accusation instead of a conversation, your partner may view your relation as lacking trust and start questioning it. Stay level-headed and always think before you speak.

10. Every day, remind yourself that distance is temporary
Whether you are just apart while at college, or you are living apart year round, remind yourself that this is not a permanent arrangement. If you chose to pursue (or continue to pursue) this relationship despite distance, chances are, you're in this for the long haul. After spending so much time apart, you will have an unbelievably strong relationship. When you finally get to live together, it will make all of that time worthwhile.

In conclusion:
Spending extended periods of time apart can be really difficult, but it's definitely not impossible. Take care of your mental health, don't put your life on hold, and keep moving forward; the time will go by much quicker!

Monday, July 30, 2018

The Benefits of Being in a Long Distance Relationship

Long distance relationships can be really difficult, however, they also have benefits...


1. Seeing your partner never stops being exciting
If you see your partner every day, you're bound to eventually run out of things to do together. However, when you are in a long distance relationship, you can come up with a list things to do together and fulfill them during your next visit. Even if you go to the same restaurant during every visit, it still won't get old because time has passed and it feels new to you all over again.

2. You have extra time to spend on yourself
Everybody needs days that they can dedicate to taking care of themselves. Whether you need time to get a mani-pedi and put on a face mask and chill out, have or a night out with friends, you never really have to worry too much about it interfering with time you should spend with your significant other. If you have a close relationship, you can even skype/facetime them while also relaxing in pajamas, wearing a face mask, and watching TV. If you need a night out with friends, chances are they will be doing their own thing during that time, so you're free to do so.

3. You form a strong emotional bond with your partner
One of the hardest parts about long distance relationships, is also one of the things that can make them so great. Due to the lack of physically being together, you get the chance to form a solid emotional bond because talking is all you really can do from a distance. It's amazing how extending the amount time spent in meaningful conversations can bring you and your partner so much closer. You get to know each other on such a deep level that you can better understand who they are as a person, their strengths & weaknesses, what bothers them & makes them feel appreciated, and so much more. All this insight you get into their life can help you better maintain a happy and healthy relationship and make time together so much more meaningful. After all, a strong friendship is the perfect foundation for a strong relationship.

4. You get a chance to do/see things you never otherwise would have
Spending lots of time in one area can get extremely boring. Being in a long distance relationship gives you the opportunity to explore the touristy areas of where you live, that you never would have gone to otherwise. You also get to explore their area and see what kind of places your partner spends their day-to-day life in. Maybe they always go to a certain restaurant, bowling alley, park, etc. Visiting their area will allow you to get to know these little quirks and get involved in them by visiting your partner's favorite spots. You may even pick up a new hobby!

5. You get the space to grow as an individual
Sometimes being in a close relationship can make it hard for you to separate yourself from your partner to go out and do things on your own. Since you don't often get the luxury of spending time together in a long distance relationship, it can give you the chance to become an independent, well-rounded individual. You can go out and make your own friends and hang out with them, all without having to feel guilty that you really needed that time to be away from your partner. Your partner can also do the same thing, which takes lots of pressure off the relationship as you never have to decide whether or not to bring them when you go out.

6. Everything you do is unique
From gift giving to how you show your love, everything done in a long distance relationship is unique. Most couples never get to exchange an old fashioned card in the mail. It may not seem like a lot, but it shows that you put in the effort of getting/making a card, stamping it, and dropping it off in the mailbox; proof that you were thinking of your significant other without them being around. Love can be difficult to express over the phone/text so sometimes you need to get creative. That may involve lengthy good morning/good night messages, sweet voicemails, and so much more. Spending holidays with their family is, of course, very unique. Many couples will never know what it is like to be so communicative about love with your partner, but it's a great feeling. Some day you'll have amazing stories to tell your friends about all the issues you have overcome in order to stay together. What makes your relationship unique, makes it special.

7. Every visit feels like a little vacation
Visiting your significant other gives you a chance to get away from the monotony of routine. Yes, traveling long distances is annoying and a hassle, but once you get there, you can relax and be in vacation mode. It feels so soothing to know that for the length of the trip you can put your worries aside for whatever is going on at home and just relax and have a good time with someone you love. In typical relationships where you don't get to travel far from home, often, those worries can creep up on you and disrupt the time you're supposed to be using to have fun with your significant other.

8. You never run out of things to talk about
Due to leading geographically separate lives, often you miss out on interesting events in each others' lives. When you finally get the chance to talk to your partner after a long day, you may have tons of stories to exchange. You can talk about what happened at school/work, what you've been up to all day, something funny that you heard/saw; the possibilities are endless because they weren't there to see those things themselves.

9. You learn important life skills
From all the time you spend dealing with miscommunications, planning trips, and travelling, you will learn some pretty important life skills. You'll learn how to be patient, compromise, plan, and shove clothes in a bag as compactly as possible. These lessons may at first seem only applicable to you relationship, but they are super important in every aspect of life. Having a fight with a friend? Well, you know from your relationship how to compromise and diffuse anger before it boils over. Planning to go on vacation? You already know how to find the cheapest flights and keep yourself entertained during them. There are endless amount of useful lessons that you can learn from a long distance relationship.

10. Your relationship is very committed
Due to the fact that long distance relationships are very difficult to maintain, you and your partner are unlikely to easily give up just because of a petty little fight. When you fight for a relationship with everything you have, it's difficult to just accept defeat just because an issue has come up.  Arguments that may break up other couples are no match for your commitment and communication. Distance is far more difficult to deal with than most arguments you will face and will be much easier to handle. It's not very likely that someone would endure spending hundreds to thousands of dollars on flights, spending hours on Skype, and dealing with the hassles of travel, if they didn't have sincere love for you. While some people may assume infidelity is a concern, you can rest assured that your partner is far too committed to you to ever jeopardize the relationship you have.

11. You learn more about who you are and how to better yourself
Somewhere along the course of your relationship, you're bound to find that you're at fault in some arguments. You will go through so many hard times that will expose a side of yourself that you may not like. Since you have so much space from your partner, you have time to reflect on yourself and decide to make changes for the benefit of your relationship. Changing yourself for the better can also help you in current and future friendships.

In conclusion:
Although long distance relationships are difficult, there are so many benefits. Even when times are tough, always remember to look at the positives and keep pushing forward!

Thursday, July 12, 2018

Is a Long Distance Relationship Right For You?

Long distance relationships aren't for everyone... is it right for you?



Signs that a long distance relationship is right for you


1. You trust your partner
Trust is super important in relationships in general but are essential in long distance relationships. It won't even be worth getting into a relationship if you can't trust that the person isn't leading some sort of double life. Trust in your partner allows you the ability to relax and feel assured that they are making good decisions and staying faithful. You shouldn't have to go through the daily anxiety of wondering if they're cheating or if they're telling you the truth about something.

2. Your partner trusts you
One of the worst feelings is not being trusted even when you are being honest. It's one of the most helpless feelings to think that no matter how you act, your partner will always doubt you. You shouldn't be interrogated every time you go out; instead your partner should encourage you to live your life and have fun, even when they aren't there with you.

3. You have good communication skills
Aside from trust, the key to a successful long distance relationship is good communication. Over the phone and through texts you don't get to see body language and tone can be hard to pick up on so it's bound to happen that someone will misread something that is said. If you don't have good communication skills, it can make diffusing the situation and explaining what you meant much more difficult. Giving your partner the silent treatment can be a fatal mistake as it shows a serious lack in communication skills.

4. You are patient
Long distance relationships often start out rocky, especially if you've never been in one. It's difficult to adjust to a lack of physical affection and creating a schedule for when you will be able to talk on the phone/video call and see each other in person. It can take months to settle into a sense of consistency and the process of figuring things out may result in arguments here and there. If you are patient and truly believe the person is worth it, then push through that rough start and things will get better. Patience also applies to acknowledging that you will spend quite some time apart but that it will be worth it once your lives align to allow you two to live together.

5. You have good planning skills
Whether it's for anniversaries, date nights, or visits, it's always important to keep dates straight and stay on top of things. Especially if you and/or your partner have a job(s), make plans in advance and stick to them. If you have a hard time remembering dates and times, take responsibility and go out and buy a planner or put the dates in your phone. If you plan on flying to see them, figure out where you can get good deals (expedia, travelocity, kayak etc.) and book flights while the prices are low. Request notifications via email or any other form you can think of from airlines you like to fly for when they're having sales (follow @JetBlueCheeps on twitter to get cheap flights from JetBlue).

6. You are loyal
Yes, being apart from your significant other is really difficult but just realize that it's as hard for them as it is for you. It sucks to not have easy access to physical affection when you want it. Realize that your partner won't always be able to give you a hug when you really need it or take you on a date when you need a break, but don't try to use that as an excuse to turn to someone else romantically. It will be difficult to spend hard times and important dates without them but don't forget that friends and family are great resources for comfort too. Distance is never a valid excuse to cheat.

7. You are thoughtful
When physical contact comes few and far between, it's important to find creative ways to show your partner that you care about them. Small gestures such as good morning texts and random compliments can really make their day extra special. Sending letters and packages is also a thoughtful gesture that tells your partner that you took time out of your day to put something together to send to them. All of these things can satisfy your partner's need to feel wanted and can help keep your relationship interesting, special, and healthy.

8. You are understanding
Long distance relationships can be difficult it so many ways, especially with planning and communication, so it is important to be understanding. Understand that neither you nor your partner are perfect; you are human beings with flaws. When miscommunications and other issues of the sorts do occur, it's important not to take them personally and let it affect your relationship. As previously stated, it's difficult to sometimes understand what tone of voice your partner is trying to portray through text. You have to be understanding that these things do happen and be willing to move forward instead of allowing a disagreement to turn into a fight. In addition, you need to understand that travelling is expensive and difficult to plan, so even if you're disappointed that your significant other can't visit you, don't project anger towards them, don't think they don't want to visit you, and realize that they don't always have the money to travel. Instead of getting angry, let your partner know that you understand why they can't come and assure them that you aren't angry at them. It will make them feel so relieved, as more than likely they are just as disappointed as you that they can't visit.

9. You are willing to put time aside daily to talk to your partner on the phone/video chat
Taking at least a little time out of every day to call your partner proves to them that they matter to you. It's always great to let your partner know you are thinking of them with such a simple gesture. Texts are great and all but of course they never seem as heartfelt as a phone call where you can hear and feel emotion.

10. You are happy for your partner's successes
Being in a long distance relationship means you will lead a separate life from your partner and may be having a bad day when they're having a good day. Despite how you feel about your own day, it's important to put that aside to be happy for your partner and show you are glad that they are doing well.

11. You have similar goals
Most long distance relationships are established with an end goal of living together, or even just living closer. It's important that you discuss your goals for the future with your significant other and make sure that they align with yours. Long distance relationships are hard enough, it would only get increasingly more difficult and painful if you are not sure if your plans for the future will have you growing with or apart from your partner. It's better to have this conversation before the subject becomes problematic and both of you are too emotionally charged to discuss it as civilly as it should be discussed

12. You are flexible
No relationship is perfect, especially not long distance relationships. It's important to be able to roll with the punches. Maybe your significant other has an obligation that pops up during the time you normally talk on the phone. It's always best to be flexible and accept that these kinds of things will happen and decide on what to do when they come up. This may involve planning backup times to talk to each other or just learning to accept things that you cannot change.

13. You understand the challenges and are willing to take them on
Long distance relationships are full of challenges: communication, costs for visiting, sacrificing time to visit each other, not having a lot of time to talk, potential time zone differences, being apart for important dates, goodbyes, and so many more. However, when it comes to finally getting to see your significant other, goodbyes are the hardest thing to get through. Tears will more than likely be shed and it will be difficult to readjust to not having them around once again. These times are really tough but it's important to keep your head up and know that feeling that way is only temporary and you will see them again.


In conclusion:
Long distance relationships are difficult, but can be extremely rewarding. However, they are not for everyone. It is important for you to evaluate whether or not you think it is worth it to take on all the challenges you will face and remember not to try to force a relationship you are not comfortable being in.