7/30/2018

The Benefits of Being in a Long Distance Relationship

Long distance relationships can be really difficult, however, they also have benefits...


1. Seeing your partner never stops being exciting
If you see your partner every day, you're bound to eventually run out of things to do together. However, when you are in a long distance relationship, you can come up with a list things to do together and fulfill them during your next visit. Even if you go to the same restaurant during every visit, it still won't get old because time has passed and it feels new to you all over again.

2. You have extra time to spend on yourself
Everybody needs days that they can dedicate to taking care of themselves. Whether you need time to get a mani-pedi and put on a face mask and chill out, have or a night out with friends, you never really have to worry too much about it interfering with time you should spend with your significant other. If you have a close relationship, you can even skype/facetime them while also relaxing in pajamas, wearing a face mask, and watching TV. If you need a night out with friends, chances are they will be doing their own thing during that time, so you're free to do so.

3. You form a strong emotional bond with your partner
One of the hardest parts about long distance relationships, is also one of the things that can make them so great. Due to the lack of physically being together, you get the chance to form a solid emotional bond because talking is all you really can do from a distance. It's amazing how extending the amount time spent in meaningful conversations can bring you and your partner so much closer. You get to know each other on such a deep level that you can better understand who they are as a person, their strengths & weaknesses, what bothers them & makes them feel appreciated, and so much more. All this insight you get into their life can help you better maintain a happy and healthy relationship and make time together so much more meaningful. After all, a strong friendship is the perfect foundation for a strong relationship.

4. You get a chance to do/see things you never otherwise would have
Spending lots of time in one area can get extremely boring. Being in a long distance relationship gives you the opportunity to explore the touristy areas of where you live, that you never would have gone to otherwise. You also get to explore their area and see what kind of places your partner spends their day-to-day life in. Maybe they always go to a certain restaurant, bowling alley, park, etc. Visiting their area will allow you to get to know these little quirks and get involved in them by visiting your partner's favorite spots. You may even pick up a new hobby!

5. You get the space to grow as an individual
Sometimes being in a close relationship can make it hard for you to separate yourself from your partner to go out and do things on your own. Since you don't often get the luxury of spending time together in a long distance relationship, it can give you the chance to become an independent, well-rounded individual. You can go out and make your own friends and hang out with them, all without having to feel guilty that you really needed that time to be away from your partner. Your partner can also do the same thing, which takes lots of pressure off the relationship as you never have to decide whether or not to bring them when you go out.

6. Everything you do is unique
From gift giving to how you show your love, everything done in a long distance relationship is unique. Most couples never get to exchange an old fashioned card in the mail. It may not seem like a lot, but it shows that you put in the effort of getting/making a card, stamping it, and dropping it off in the mailbox; proof that you were thinking of your significant other without them being around. Love can be difficult to express over the phone/text so sometimes you need to get creative. That may involve lengthy good morning/good night messages, sweet voicemails, and so much more. Spending holidays with their family is, of course, very unique. Many couples will never know what it is like to be so communicative about love with your partner, but it's a great feeling. Some day you'll have amazing stories to tell your friends about all the issues you have overcome in order to stay together. What makes your relationship unique, makes it special.

7. Every visit feels like a little vacation
Visiting your significant other gives you a chance to get away from the monotony of routine. Yes, traveling long distances is annoying and a hassle, but once you get there, you can relax and be in vacation mode. It feels so soothing to know that for the length of the trip you can put your worries aside for whatever is going on at home and just relax and have a good time with someone you love. In typical relationships where you don't get to travel far from home, often, those worries can creep up on you and disrupt the time you're supposed to be using to have fun with your significant other.

8. You never run out of things to talk about
Due to leading geographically separate lives, often you miss out on interesting events in each others' lives. When you finally get the chance to talk to your partner after a long day, you may have tons of stories to exchange. You can talk about what happened at school/work, what you've been up to all day, something funny that you heard/saw; the possibilities are endless because they weren't there to see those things themselves.

9. You learn important life skills
From all the time you spend dealing with miscommunications, planning trips, and travelling, you will learn some pretty important life skills. You'll learn how to be patient, compromise, plan, and shove clothes in a bag as compactly as possible. These lessons may at first seem only applicable to you relationship, but they are super important in every aspect of life. Having a fight with a friend? Well, you know from your relationship how to compromise and diffuse anger before it boils over. Planning to go on vacation? You already know how to find the cheapest flights and keep yourself entertained during them. There are endless amount of useful lessons that you can learn from a long distance relationship.

10. Your relationship is very committed
Due to the fact that long distance relationships are very difficult to maintain, you and your partner are unlikely to easily give up just because of a petty little fight. When you fight for a relationship with everything you have, it's difficult to just accept defeat just because an issue has come up.  Arguments that may break up other couples are no match for your commitment and communication. Distance is far more difficult to deal with than most arguments you will face and will be much easier to handle. It's not very likely that someone would endure spending hundreds to thousands of dollars on flights, spending hours on Skype, and dealing with the hassles of travel, if they didn't have sincere love for you. While some people may assume infidelity is a concern, you can rest assured that your partner is far too committed to you to ever jeopardize the relationship you have.

11. You learn more about who you are and how to better yourself
Somewhere along the course of your relationship, you're bound to find that you're at fault in some arguments. You will go through so many hard times that will expose a side of yourself that you may not like. Since you have so much space from your partner, you have time to reflect on yourself and decide to make changes for the benefit of your relationship. Changing yourself for the better can also help you in current and future friendships.

In conclusion:
Although long distance relationships are difficult, there are so many benefits. Even when times are tough, always remember to look at the positives and keep pushing forward!

7/12/2018

Is a Long Distance Relationship Right For You?

Long distance relationships aren't for everyone... is it right for you?

Signs that a long distance relationship IS right for you

1. You trust your partner
Trust is super important in relationships in general but are essential in long distance relationships. It won't even be worth getting into a relationship if you can't trust that the person isn't leading some sort of double life. Trust in your partner allows you the ability to relax and feel assured that they are making good decisions and staying faithful. You shouldn't have to go through the daily anxiety of wondering if they're cheating or if they're telling you the truth about something.

2. Your partner trusts you
One of the worst feelings is not being trusted even when you are being honest. It's one of the most helpless feelings to think that no matter how you act, your partner will always doubt you. You shouldn't be interrogated every time you go out; instead your partner should encourage you to live your life and have fun, even when they aren't there with you.

3. You have good communication skills
Aside from trust, the key to a successful long distance relationship is good communication. Over the phone and through texts you don't get to see body language and tone can be hard to pick up on so it's bound to happen that someone will misread something that is said. If you don't have good communication skills, it can make diffusing the situation and explaining what you meant much more difficult. Giving your partner the silent treatment can be a fatal mistake as it shows a serious lack in communication skills.

4. You are patient
Long distance relationships often start out rocky, especially if you've never been in one. It's difficult to adjust to a lack of physical affection and creating a schedule for when you will be able to talk on the phone/video call and see each other in person. It can take months to settle into a sense of consistency and the process of figuring things out may result in arguments here and there. If you are patient and truly believe the person is worth it, then push through that rough start and things will get better. Patience also applies to acknowledging that you will spend quite some time apart but that it will be worth it once your lives align to allow you two to live together.

5. You have good planning skills
Whether it's for anniversaries, date nights, or visits, it's always important to keep dates straight and stay on top of things. Especially if you and/or your partner have a job(s), make plans in advance and stick to them. If you have a hard time remembering dates and times, take responsibility and go out and buy a planner or put the dates in your phone. If you plan on flying to see them, figure out where you can get good deals (expedia, travelocity, kayak etc.) and book flights while the prices are low. Request notifications via email or any other form you can think of from airlines you like to fly for when they're having sales (follow @JetBlueCheeps on twitter to get cheap flights from JetBlue).

6. You are loyal
Yes, being apart from your significant other is really difficult but just realize that it's as hard for them as it is for you. It sucks to not have easy access to physical affection when you want it. Realize that your partner won't always be able to give you a hug when you really need it or take you on a date when you need a break, but don't try to use that as an excuse to turn to someone else romantically. It will be difficult to spend hard times and important dates without them but don't forget that friends and family are great resources for comfort too. Distance is never a valid excuse to cheat.

7. You are thoughtful
When physical contact comes few and far between, it's important to find creative ways to show your partner that you care about them. Small gestures such as good morning texts and random compliments can really make their day extra special. Sending letters and packages is also a thoughtful gesture that tells your partner that you took time out of your day to put something together to send to them. All of these things can satisfy your partner's need to feel wanted and can help keep your relationship interesting, special, and healthy.

8. You are understanding
Long distance relationships can be difficult it so many ways, especially with planning and communication, so it is important to be understanding. Understand that neither you nor your partner are perfect; you are human beings with flaws. When miscommunications and other issues of the sorts do occur, it's important not to take them personally and let it affect your relationship. As previously stated, it's difficult to sometimes understand what tone of voice your partner is trying to portray through text. You have to be understanding that these things do happen and be willing to move forward instead of allowing a disagreement to turn into a fight. In addition, you need to understand that travelling is expensive and difficult to plan, so even if you're disappointed that your significant other can't visit you, don't project anger towards them, don't think they don't want to visit you, and realize that they don't always have the money to travel. Instead of getting angry, let your partner know that you understand why they can't come and assure them that you aren't angry at them. It will make them feel so relieved, as more than likely they are just as disappointed as you that they can't visit.

9. You are willing to put time aside daily to talk to your partner on the phone/video chat
Taking at least a little time out of every day to call your partner proves to them that they matter to you. It's always great to let your partner know you are thinking of them with such a simple gesture. Texts are great and all but of course they never seem as heartfelt as a phone call where you can hear and feel emotion.

10. You are happy for your partner's successes
Being in a long distance relationship means you will lead a separate life from your partner and may be having a bad day when they're having a good day. Despite how you feel about your own day, it's important to put that aside to be happy for your partner and show you are glad that they are doing well.

11. You have similar goals
Most long distance relationships are established with an end goal of living together, or even just living closer. It's important that you discuss your goals for the future with your significant other and make sure that they align with yours. Long distance relationships are hard enough, it would only get increasingly more difficult and painful if you are not sure if your plans for the future will have you growing with or apart from your partner. It's better to have this conversation before the subject becomes problematic and both of you are too emotionally charged to discuss it as civilly as it should be discussed

12. You are flexible
No relationship is perfect, especially not long distance relationships. It's important to be able to roll with the punches. Maybe your significant other has an obligation that pops up during the time you normally talk on the phone. It's always best to be flexible and accept that these kinds of things will happen and decide on what to do when they come up. This may involve planning backup times to talk to each other or just learning to accept things that you cannot change.

13. You understand the challenges and are willing to take them on
Long distance relationships are full of challenges: communication, costs for visiting, sacrificing time to visit each other, not having a lot of time to talk, potential time zone differences, being apart for important dates, goodbyes, and so many more. However, when it comes to finally getting to see your significant other, goodbyes are the hardest thing to get through. Tears will more than likely be shed and it will be difficult to readjust to not having them around once again. These times are really tough but it's important to keep your head up and know that feeling that way is only temporary and you will see them again.


In conclusion:
Long distance relationships are difficult, but can be extremely rewarding. However, they are not for everyone. It is important for you to evaluate whether or not you think it is worth it to take on all the challenges you will face and remember not to try to force a relationship you are not comfortable being in.