8/20/2018

10 Ways To Stay Strong When You're Apart

It's tough to spend long spans of time apart, but there are ways to make it less difficult...

1. Share your feelings with your partner
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It's important to remember that nobody understands your situation quite like your partner does. You are going through it together after all. You should never be afraid to be open and honest about your emotions with them. It is likely that they can relate to how you feel and even provide support. Being able to relate to how someone else feels will make you feel validated and less lonely.

2. Spend time with your friends and family
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It may be hard to even drag yourself out of bed when you know that you can't spend the day with the one person you really wish was there. However, it is healthier to push through the struggles and not deny yourself the ability to have fun and enjoy time without your significant other by your side. You're not obligated to be on the phone/texting them all day just because you miss each other. You're allowed to have fun without them and it can distract you from being sad as well as improve your overall mental health. When you're happier, your relationship is bound to be happier.

3. Make a gift for your partner
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I've found that something as simple as working on a handmade gift for your partner can get your mind off of your sadness and lift your spirits. This can even be as simple as writing them a long, well thought out letter. Putting time and effort into a gift will allow you to focus and clear your head while also building up excitement for when you get to see them open the gift you made. It can help improve your mood and your partner is sure to love it. It's a win-win!

4. Look at pictures you took/make a scrapbook
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A good idea for cheering yourself up when you're feeling lonely after a visit is to look back on all the great memories you made and remind yourself that you will make even more great memories next time too. It's important to drill into your brain that there will be a next time. Much like making a gift for your partner, making a scrapbook allows you to clear your head. It also leads you to focus on the great memories you made, instead of the loneliness of being apart. Physically putting pictures together into a book as opposed to just having them in an album on your phone makes you spend more time looking at each picture, and thinking about all the fun you had together. The more you are reminded of and focus on a happier time, the less you will think about the pain that you're going through from being apart.

5. Start planning your next visit
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One of the most difficult parts of visits coming to an end is not knowing the next time you will be together. Trying to book your next visit shortly after your last one can help provide motivation. Knowing that there is a light at the end of the tunnel can keep you pushing forward with increasing excitement as the day you're together again gets closer and closer. It also gives you a longer span of time to book the flights, to ensure you get the best deal possible.

6. Have a Skype/Facetime date
Low-Risk First Date Ideas For Guys
When you are too far apart to have a "real" date in person, dates over a video chat can help cheer you up. Of course, video chatting may not be as much fun to you as a normal date would be, but it can help to ease the pain, even if only by a little bit. Try watching movies or shows on Netflix together by hitting play at the same time. Maybe even grab a bowl of popcorn while you watch. You can also try just eating at the same time to get the basic idea of a dinner date (this may be more difficult if you're in different time zones). If you both like video games and own the same console, buy the same online game and play together. Regardless of your situation, there are endless amounts of ways to have a "video chat date," sometimes it just takes a bit of creativity.

7. Put extra effort into your hobbies
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This is kind of cliche but it is true that when you're feeling down, putting more effort into something you enjoy doing can help you cheer up. By spending more time and effort on your hobbies, you're bound think less about your situation and make improvements that you can feel proud of. The pride from your accomplishments can help lessen the pain of missing your significant other.

8. Try not to talk too often
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Communication in a long distance relationship is super important, but talking too often can sometimes be detrimental. If you talk too often, you may run out of things to talk about and then suddenly your conversations are no longer as meaningful. It can make your time apart harder as you may start to view your relationship as boring when you're apart. Also, often you'll end up exchanging lots of "I miss you" texts. This can keep your mind focused too much on all the negatives. It's better to limit your conversations so that they're always meaningful and keep you thinking positively.

9. Don't assume anything about what your partner is up to
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Misunderstandings are not uncommon in relationships, especially when you're long distance. Situations and conversations can easily be misinterpreted. Be careful not to read too much into these kinds of things and instead, take everything at face value. Never blindly assume or accuse your partner of cheating in any form. Have mature conversations and talk things out. Chances are, you're just misunderstanding. However, if you come in with an accusation instead of a conversation, your partner may view your relation as lacking trust and start questioning it. Stay level-headed and always think before you speak.

10. Every day, remind yourself that distance is temporary
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Whether you are just apart while at college, or you are living apart year round, remind yourself that this is not a permanent arrangement. If you chose to pursue (or continue to pursue) this relationship despite distance, chances are, you're in this for the long haul. After spending so much time apart, you will have an unbelievably strong relationship. When you finally get to live together, it will make all of that time worthwhile.

In conclusion:
Spending extended periods of time apart can be really difficult, but it's definitely not impossible. Take care of your mental health, don't put your life on hold, and keep moving forward; the time will go by much quicker!

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