Is a Long Distance Relationship Right For You?

Long distance relationships aren't for everyone... is it right for you?

Signs that a long distance relationship IS right for you

1. You trust your partner

Trust is super important in relationships in general but are essential in long distance relationships. It won't even be worth getting into a relationship if you can't trust that the person isn't leading some sort of double life. Trust in your partner allows you the ability to relax and feel assured that they are making good decisions and staying faithful. You shouldn't have to go through the daily anxiety of wondering if they're cheating or if they're telling you the truth about something.

2. Your partner trusts you
One of the worst feelings is not being trusted even when you are being honest. It's one of the most helpless feelings to think that no matter how you act, your partner will always doubt you. You shouldn't be interrogated every time you go out; instead your partner should encourage you to live your life and have fun, even when they aren't there with you.

3. You have good communication skills
Aside from trust, the key to a successful long distance relationship is good communication. Over the phone and through texts you don't get to see body language and tone can be hard to pick up on so it's bound to happen that someone will misread something that is said. If you don't have good communication skills, it can make diffusing the situation and explaining what you meant much more difficult. Giving your partner the silent treatment can be a fatal mistake as it shows a serious lack in communication skills.

4. You are patient
Long distance relationships often start out rocky, especially if you've never been in one. It's difficult to adjust to a lack of physical affection and creating a schedule for when you will be able to talk on the phone/video call and see each other in person. It can take months to settle into a sense of consistency and the process of figuring things out may result in arguments here and there. If you are patient and truly believe the person is worth it, then push through that rough start and things will get better. Patience also applies to acknowledging that you will spend quite some time apart but that it will be worth it once your lives align to allow you two to live together.

5. You have good planning skills
Whether it's for anniversaries, date nights, or visits, it's always important to keep dates straight and stay on top of things. Especially if you and/or your partner have a job(s), make plans in advance and stick to them. If you have a hard time remembering dates and times, take responsibility and go out and buy a planner or put the dates in your phone. If you plan on flying to see them, figure out where you can get good deals (expedia, travelocity, kayak etc.) and book flights while the prices are low. Request notifications via email or any other form you can think of from airlines you like to fly for when they're having sales (follow @JetBlueCheeps on twitter to get cheap flights from JetBlue).

6. You are loyal
Yes, being apart from your significant other is really difficult but just realize that it's as hard for them as it is for you. It sucks to not have easy access to physical affection when you want it. Realize that your partner won't always be able to give you a hug when you really need it or take you on a date when you need a break, but don't try to use that as an excuse to turn to someone else romantically. It will be difficult to spend hard times and important dates without them but don't forget that friends and family are great resources for comfort too. Distance is never a valid excuse to cheat.

7. You are thoughtful
When physical contact comes few and far between, it's important to find creative ways to show your partner that you care about them. Small gestures such as good morning texts and random compliments can really make their day extra special. Sending letters and packages is also a thoughtful gesture that tells your partner that you took time out of your day to put something together to send to them. All of these things can satisfy your partner's need to feel wanted and can help keep your relationship interesting, special, and healthy.

8. You are understanding
Long distance relationships can be difficult it so many ways, especially with planning and communication, so it is important to be understanding. Understand that neither you nor your partner are perfect; you are human beings with flaws. When miscommunications and other issues of the sorts do occur, it's important not to take them personally and let it affect your relationship. As previously stated, it's difficult to sometimes understand what tone of voice your partner is trying to portray through text. You have to be understanding that these things do happen and be willing to move forward instead of allowing a disagreement to turn into a fight. In addition, you need to understand that travelling is expensive and difficult to plan, so even if you're disappointed that your significant other can't visit you, don't project anger towards them, don't think they don't want to visit you, and realize that they don't always have the money to travel. Instead of getting angry, let your partner know that you understand why they can't come and assure them that you aren't angry at them. It will make them feel so relieved, as more than likely they are just as disappointed as you that they can't visit.

9. You are willing to put time aside daily to talk to your partner on the phone/video chat
Taking at least a little time out of every day to call your partner proves to them that they matter to you. It's always great to let your partner know you are thinking of them with such a simple gesture. Texts are great and all but of course they never seem as heartfelt as a phone call where you can hear and feel emotion.

10. You are happy for your partner's successes
Being in a long distance relationship means you will lead a separate life from your partner and may be having a bad day when they're having a good day. Despite how you feel about your own day, it's important to put that aside to be happy for your partner and show you are glad that they are doing well.

11. You have similar goals
Most long distance relationships are established with an end goal of living together, or even just living closer. It's important that you discuss your goals for the future with your significant other and make sure that they align with yours. Long distance relationships are hard enough, it would only get increasingly more difficult and painful if you are not sure if your plans for the future will have you growing with or apart from your partner. It's better to have this conversation before the subject becomes problematic and both of you are too emotionally charged to discuss it as civilly as it should be discussed

12. You are flexible
No relationship is perfect, especially not long distance relationships. It's important to be able to roll with the punches. Maybe your significant other has an obligation that pops up during the time you normally talk on the phone. It's always best to be flexible and accept that these kinds of things will happen and decide on what to do when they come up. This may involve planning backup times to talk to each other or just learning to accept things that you cannot change.

13. You understand the challenges and are willing to take them on
Long distance relationships are full of challenges: communication, costs for visiting, sacrificing time to visit each other, not having a lot of time to talk, potential time zone differences, being apart for important dates, goodbyes, and so many more. However, when it comes to finally getting to see your significant other, goodbyes are the hardest thing to get through. Tears will more than likely be shed and it will be difficult to readjust to not having them around once again. These times are really tough but it's important to keep your head up and know that feeling that way is only temporary and you will see them again.


In conclusion:
Long distance relationships are difficult, but can be extremely rewarding. However, they are not for everyone. It is important for you to evaluate whether or not you think it is worth it to take on all the challenges you will face and remember not to try to force a relationship you are not comfortable being in.